5 Oct 1956

Thursday

Dearest,

I’ve started to write this for 2 nights but just couldn’t get started. Frankly I’m so darn lonely I’m going nuts. A week away from home isn’t too bad but with 6 more to go – ugh. I guess I’m a diehard family type – I miss you and the kids too much to be separated.

You know I owe you a lot of apologies for the way I act at times, criticizing, hollering etc. A person doesn’t realize what a heel he can be until he’s away from home.

I can’t even get my thoughts or feelings on paper, honey, but if you could only realize how much I love you and the kiddies, and more than anything else, how much I need and depend on you – I can’t express it – I never could and I’m afraid sometimes my actions don’t always show it, but the need and love is down so deep nothing could ever break it.

Married people take so much for granted, I guess, because of the proximity of their lives. When you are engaged you’re still separated a good share of the day and when you are together words seem to come easy. For some reason they seem to vanish or come hard after marriage. Believe me, this in no way detracts from the feeling. In fact the feeling of love and need goes so deep it seems impossible to bring out in words. Guess I’m not making much sense – I’m even a worse writer than a talker.

All I ask is that you believe that when I say I do love you deeper than you’ll ever realize, that I mean every word. You see, I have the advantage over you – I know what a wonderful wife, mother, and lover you are.

The school is fast and furious – eight hours a day with no let up. Its not hard, but it comes so fast you’re afraid to light a cigarette for fear of missing half the course material. We have a pretty sharp bunch in the class and so far I’m doing about ½ way between the average and top. They only base your grades on the class average so individual scores don’t mean much except to get a relative position. Cass is just a few points below me and Meil a few above – so we’re pretty well bunched.

So far we’ve played bingo (no winners) and been to one movie (Tea and Sympathy.) Other than that mostly bull sessions in the barracks – We have a wide spread of experience here and we are constantly learning about other peoples’ jobs. This is the place to cut an egotist down to his proper size.

We’re going to Eglin this weekend on orders to attend the Fire Power demonstration put on primarily for the Command and Staff College – it will be quite a show – all Sunday afternoon with a tour of Eglin Sat. Hope to get in some fishing too.

Write soon, darling. I need your letters to tide me over. Take care of yourself and kiss the kiddies for me. I’ll take care of you when I get back!

All my love,
Hubby

P.S. The address I sent you is all there is – use it as is.